Everyone's Mixtape - Check This Out! (CTO!) 4

Check This Out!

This one's awesome! We'll they're all awesome. It plays different music depending on what mood you say you're in.

SOfT (Song Of Today) Edition 5

First of all, the rules.

1. You need good speakers or headphones
2. Have an open mind
3. Listen. Really listen
4. Crank the speakers or headphones up

Passion Pit

Song: The Reeling

Perspective and Relativity

I have a friend who brought up a interesting argument the other day and I'd first like to relate it to you and then explain something important about perspective and relativity.

My friend brought up his issue with buying an alcoholic drink and spending so much for it. He figures he can basically get a free water or a much cheaper pink lemonade and be just as satisfied. This is very true, but also flawed in many respects. How so? Ill explain. 

I went on to explain to my friend the flaw in his thinking with an illustration. I told him that he can go to Burger King and get a Whopper for a few bucks right? However many times he will go to places like Ruby Tuesday's to get a burger and spend a considerable amount more for essentially the same thing. What is the difference? Here is where relativity and perspective come in. The difference is the price relative to that of the experience. In one instance many will complain about the price of drink or food, but in another instance with the same variables they will completely disregard the price if its something they like or desire to do. As with my friend, he couldn't understand why people would spend 13 bucks on one drink when they can get water because he doesn't care much for drinking, but he will spend 50 bucks for a ticket to a sporting event that he can watch on T.V. for free. Undoubtedly, someone who loves drinking would have just as valid of a complaint about someone going to a Basketball game. Or would he?

You see it's all about perspective. However many people are so stuck in their viewpoint that other people's viewpoint becomes irrational when it really is not. It's like looking at the math problem 2+3=5 and agreeing that it makes perfect sense, but then when presented with the problem 3+2=5 they can't see how that can be true. Even though the order in which the numbers are presented are switched, both ways of presenting it still lead to the same answer. Notice too that both solutions are correct. So try something new for me, before voicing complaint about something or someone's likes, dislikes, or decisions look at it from another angle. You might find that 2+3 and 3+2 really do both equal 5. 

Or you can say "that's just his perspective on perspective and its completely wrong"...I'm cool with that because I am thinking the same thing about you if you disagree with me:)

Written by individual contributor

Anthony Savage (a.k.a. Analytical Ant)

Wash Yo Hands!

This is a Public Service Announcement brought to you by common sense.

WASH! YOUR! HANDS!

Women, this may surprise you, but men are disgusting creatures. Not all men mind you (not that I could name one that is not), but most men are disgusting. Let me tell you why...

Now, I don't like bathroom humor. It's not my thing. It's just undignified if you ask me. But what I'm about to tell you is very serious. It's not a joke. I'm not mentioning because I want to, but rather because I must in order for the human race as we know it to survive. Many men do not wash their grimy hands after using the lavatory. *Crowd gasps*. I know, I know. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this. Believe me. I am probably breaking the "Guy code", or "dude code" or "Bro code" depending on where you live, but I'm sorry dudes, guys, and bros. You've gotta start washing your hands. 

I work at an office. You'd think that offices are cleaner than just about any other work location other than a hospital (Ha ha. Yeah right. Hospitals are gross), but they're not. Each time you touch a doorknob, a keyboard, a mouse, a person's hand, the refrigerator, the apple you're about to bite into, KNOW THIS! It has urine on it. *Phew*. I'm sorry, to me "urine" is a curse word. I had to tell you though. Let me explain what happens in the "Men's" restroom (I quoted "Men's" because real men care about people other than themselves). It goes something like this:

*Door flies open without regard for who might be on other side*

Jim - "BOB! What's up? Monday sucks man! Arrrrgh the boss has been on my back about those reports"

Bob - "Oh I know it man. He's been on me about that too. I gotta drop a deuce ("deuce" is a colloquialism for... well, you know).

Jim - Alright, I gotta drop off the Browns at the Superbowl too

Let me break character for a moment here. I am extremely uncomfortable about telling all of you about this. Ok, back to the story

*Fart noises escape from each stall*

Jim - Bob, what did you eat for breakfast, man?

Bob - Wooooooooooo! You don't wanna know, man.

*Flush*

Some time later, Bob, and eventually the respectable Jim will exit the stalls and high five. After this they will ( I must stress the fact that I am absolutely NOT making this up) exit the rest room without even thinking of washing their hands.

Wow, I am so sorry that you just read all of that. Truly, this is the kind of thing that has to be done though. Like, when a father needs to explain the birds-and-the-bees to his son. Or when Jim and Bob's boss needs to fire them. It simply must be done for the human race to continue living.

These men have absolutely no regard for human life at all. Seriously. This is so disgusting that it makes me want to wear gloves all the time. And on top of those gloves, I want to put another pair of gloves. And then I want to pour acid onto those gloves, then gasoline, light them on fire, and then throw myself from the nearest bridge into a river of Purell . Have these guys ever thought about the fact that if they are dumb enough to do this that other men are doing it too? No. They haven't. 

Bad "Drivers"

You know how when you first got your drivers license and your parents were overly cautious about letting you drive? Yeah, me neither. My parents didn't care.

Just kidding. I didn't have my license until I was well into my 17th year.

I rarely got to go out and drive when I had my learners permit, but that is all starting to make sense. And here's why...

I have a wife. I care about her. I also care about my car. You see, we share a car. My wife is not a bad driver. She's pretty good actually. Probably a better driver than me in fact (Just kidding. Everyone knows that women are horrible drivers. Haha. Just kidding again. The insurance industry has proven they aren't). No, it's really not my wife that worries me. It's everyone else. I think that when people are driving, they view all the other cars, not as machine's being driven by people with families and jobs and lives and other things that they care about, but rather as evil automatons. Thus, each time we are cut off and each time someone speeds around us or "drives too slow" in front of us, they aren't doing that near us, they're doing it to us. Isn't that how you feel while you drive?

I'm going to be straight with all of you. That's how I feel when I drive. Especially when I'm late. 

If that's the case then we have a HUGE problem. I mean, if everyone out there is driving offensively instead of defensively how are there any drivers still alive? How has the road not turned into a gas powered game of Bumper Cars?

Here's what happened to me that made me decide I had to write about this...

There were very few cars on the road. My driveway comes right off of a main road here in Phoenix. It was coming up on the left side of the road (which means I have to cross traffic to get into the driveway) in about a half mile. I was in the right lane and there was a very small set of headlamps in my mirror in the left lane. I seriously had an 8th of a mile between the two of us so I get over. At this point, the car starts speeding towards me. There are literally NO OTHER CARS on the road. But this guy flies up to me and get's right behind my car, seemingly trying to get me to go faster or at least let me know that I'm in his way. Why? Because he wants to go faster? Absolutely not. If he wanted to go faster he could easily have gone around me. He got right on my tail because he wanted to hurt me. He was driving offensively. Why!?!?!?!?! I know that's a lot of punctuation but I don't get it. What is it about driving that makes us all turn into The Hulk?

About 2 hours later I was coming from the other direction to turn into my driveway. There was another chronic tailgater behind me at this point. Again, there were no other cars on the road. I put my turn signal on very early to give this gentleman behind me an opportunity to go around me. But this tough guy in a Prius behind me decides to sit right on my tail. Unfortunately for him, when I got to my driveway I literally had to stop in the road because of another ignoramus. Let's call him Pedestrian Mc-I-don't-care-about-anyone-but-myself. I swear! This guy walked slower than anyone I've ever known in my life. And he went from Snail-pace to Sloth-with-no-legs-pace. Why? Because I was interrupting his natural rhythm, or because he has right-of-way, or because he was suddenly stricken with...  I don't know. Is there some disease that suddenly makes people move impossibly slow (If there is, I apologize for my insensitivity)? Well... to continue, Vin Diesel, still 3.5 mm from my rear bumper then decides it's appropriate to honk to let me know that I should just skip going home today, or run the pedestrian over so that he can save those 5 seconds. But again, I feel I must stress that if it was an issue to slow down, he had the choice of going around me. So why did he not? Someone please tell me! Maybe he can't turn the steering wheel to the left. I have no idea. All I know is, when people are driving, they become the worst version of themselves.

Written by individual contributor
Lane Fries (a.k.a. Lane Freeze)