L1C3N5E PL8T3S

Attention All Drivers,

Yeah, that means you. Everyone who reads this Blog drives. I know this for a fact because I'm the only one who reads it. But, in case you're reading it and you don't drive, that's ok. In fact, it's better because you can learn something from this post.

Vanity License Plates are dumb. Maybe I shouldn't say dumb. They're worse than that. They're downright dangerous. For two reasons, and I can guarantee you've not thought of at least one of these reasons.

Reason number 1) They make people stare at the back of your car trying to figure out what the heck "2N10S" means, and that distracts them from doing something supremely important. Namely, not crashing their car. 

Nobody can figure out what that means by quickly glancing at your license plate. And there's only one reason to have a vanity plate. To show your support for a particular... thing. In this case the plate that reads "2N10S" translates  "Too Intense". So you obviously want people, other than yourself, to see that and say "Oh. The guy who drives this is a pretty intense guy. I wonder if that's Tom Cruise in there".


Which leads me to Reason number 2) Suppose somebody reads your license plate that says "IH8J3W5" and realizes it means "I hate Jews" and they don't like the message you're broadcasting. This could cause road rage.

That's not safe. I think it's a way for the local government to generate revenue and it's costing the average tax payer an untold amount of money each year because of road rage, and distraction related accidents.

The reason I say "untold" is because nobody other than me has ever said anything about how dumb/dangerous these things are. So yes, it's literally untold. I think that it remains untold because the government is withholding precious information from us to control our brains and make us spend money on frivolous things. My best estimation is that these things cost the average tax payer $1.25 per lifetime and that the resulting traffic distractions kill about 3 rodents per Galactic Standard Time Unit. That's 3 rodents too many if you ask me.

I have one other thing to say about this matter. It's more of a question really.

This one isn't so bad

How obsessed must you be with something that you want every single driver who sees your car to know that you love Christmas. Seriously! This is a real license plate I saw just days ago "ILVXMAS". Either this was something she paid for when she was intoxicated, or her life must literally revolve around December 25th. I may be crazy but I always imagine that If I were friends with someone who had one of these license plates, every single conversation I had with them would turn back to the subject that they broadcast on the posterior of their car. I mean, you've got a grand total of eight characters to tell the world around you something. What would you tell them? If you asked this lady she'd say "I'd tell the world how much I love Christmas" and that's a fact.

-End Blog Post